This Is Your Captain Speaking

A lovely, brisk winter day to you, my dear colleagues!  My goodness, things have been busy at Mischief Headquarters these days.  However, I came across two little artifacts that I knew I must take a moment to share.  Our Ladies have much in common – strength, ingenuity, intelligence – but it would be a mistake indeed to assume that means they’re all alike!  The juxtaposition of these two Pre-Flight Checklists, from our intrepid Airship/Dirigible captains Coraline and Anna, simply had me in stitches.  I hope you enjoy them as well!

Lilith Ascending Pre-Flight Checklist

From the desk of
Coraline Hackworth
President, Hackworth Airships International

1 ) Review crew roster
2 ) Compose pre-flight inspirational speech
3 ) Don flying coat, cowl and hat
4 ) Pick up news reports from the International Affairs division
5 ) Pick up latest maps from the Navigation division
6 ) Verify supply of Darjeeling tea (also honey and cream)
7) Check yarn and needle quantities in Yarn Room
8 ) Review stationery supplies
9 ) Complete walkthrough inspection with First Mate Perkins
10 ) Assemble and address crew

Anna’s Pre-Flight Checklist

Right, it’s time to be off again!

1.  Is there enough sharp cheese and sourdough bread on board?  Must double check quantities.
2.  Check stock of Irish Afternoon Tea.  Important! Ran out last time, had to drink that dratted Darjeeling.
3.  Guns.  Need at least four rifles and twelve pistols, among others.  Don’t forget ammunition this time!  Had to buy all new silverware after Egypt.
4.  Remember to bring ALL the sizes of knitting needles this time.  Whittling them out of kindling is entertaining, but not as entertaining as actually knitting.
       4. a.  Check status of yarn cupboard.
5.  Pack a dressing gown this time!  The pirates probably enjoyed the view last time, but that was a damned breezy battle.  Shouldn’t like to repeat it.
6.  Will three tins of shortbread be enough?
7.  Oh, don’t forget the butter just because of the stock of cheese.  Buttered toast is also nice.
8.  Speaking of, make repairs to the stove.  Using the boiler for cooking might have been exhilarating but probably not recommended.
9.  Clean underpants.  DO NOT FORGET AGAIN.

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